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puc reducks

THE DAILY GRIPE: LARGE, SMALL, WE'VE GOT IT ALL

As if there isn't enough griping and caterwauling on all the political threads here, I'd thought I'd start a gripe thread.   Very Happy

A gripe isn't a rant.  It isn't whining.  It isn't picking on someone, something, some -ist or -ism.

It could be a peeve.  It could be a cranky-maker.  It could be your spouse, or not.  But definitely not the/any governor, nor any politicos (local, state, federal, intergalactic).

It could be amusing.  It could be alarming.  You get the picture!

I'll start.

It gripes me no end that Boomers are OUT of the major sales-pitch demographic.  Grrrrr.  I liked being kow-towed to!  I dislike being reminded to buy Spackle to fill in my crow's feet, or toxic but lustrous dye to color my hair, or "no one knows you wear them" Depend adult diapers, or 17 types of paste or powder grippers for false teeth, or *drumroll* all that supplementary Medicare medical insurance I cannot do without.  Yeah, that sure bugs the bejeez outta me.   Mad
puc reducks

Today's gripe:

The loss of spousal hearing, as in, "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW???"

I know this is male selective deafness, a genetic marker of the species.

It is tiresome.

I cannot see that the rest of my years wil be devoted to YELLING EVERY FRIGGIN' THING I SAY THREE OR FOUR TIMES.

*ahem*

That's why they make hearing aids.
puc reducks

Just hoppin' mad today.

Go read p. 5D of The Record, the pets up for adoption, esp. Tippy's story.

He's a senior dog (don't know the breed, but smallish, curly fur, big ol' black nose, as cute as a Muppet!) whose human companion had a stroke and could no longer care for him.

So, the FAMILY decided no one in it would take care of him, either, and tossed him into the backyard to "live."  (They must live eternity up to his/her eyeballs in canine excrement, thinking of how miserably they treated Tippy.)

There Tippy stayed until animal control picked him up, matted and filthy. They were going to euthanize him. (WHY?  Because he was OLD or because he was temporarily UGLY??? Stupid asses.)

A no-kill shelter group found him at animal control, swooped him up and out of there, gave him a bath, shaved his entire body, and put him in a foster home.  As many are capable of doing, this little white ball of fur has blossomed!  He is the darlingest little fella!  Healthy as a little horse!

I've spent the better part of the morning wheedling, plotting, planning... no luck. WE are not adopting a third dog.

So, please, some gentle reader, can you find it in your heart to adopt Mr. Tippy, abandoned but loving and cute as a button?  He has many happy years to live and so much love to give!
puc reducks

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO JUMP IN...
bieramar

I'm currently gripeless - which I know really angers some of my friends, but that's their gripes, not mine!
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O.K., after straining my brain I recall that I do have a minor unresolved gripe from some time ago - something about a CD dupe of a an audio tape which never arrived in my mailbox.
scrutney

puc reducks wrote:
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO JUMP IN...


at this point in time (which is 5 words intended to do the job of one but has more gravitas than the word-now-but that's a gripe for another time) i am content with my lot in life...however, by the middle of the week, something at work will stick in my craw and i'll be happy to join in the fray.


Quote:
O.K., after straining my brain I recall that I do have a minor unresolved gripe from some time ago - something about a CD dupe of a an audio tape which never arrived in my mailbox.


whoops...this week for sure...new computers being what they are...there's a couple of connections that have to be made...1/2 an hour's work and we're there...sorry.

in english:
the cassette deck is back from the shop but needs to be hooked up.

for what it's worth (which would make a hell of a song title)...i bought gimme shelter on blu ray 3 months ago and haven't watched that either. looks like there's a lot of stones in my future.
JodyB

ATM Fees

I am upset with this un-justified rapid increase in ATM fees. Lately I have noticed a big jump in the cost of getting a few bucks from most cash dispensing machines. Today I was charged 3 American dollars to have 4 /20 dollar bills spit out from a grocery store ATM.Robbery, I say.

They have us hooked on using these devices, and now  think they can raise the price and we will continue using them.
I predict the same thing will happen with cell phones. As we think we must have them, the prices will increase for their usage slowly but surely.
jasmine

bieramar wrote:
I'm currently gripeless - which I know really angers some of my friends, but that's their gripes, not mine!
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O.K., after straining my brain I recall that I do have a minor unresolved gripe from some time ago - something about a CD dupe of a an audio tape which never arrived in my mailbox.


Me too, no gripes.
coebul

Hemroids! Lets talk about them.  How about blood pressure meds?  Viagra, Cialis,?  I hate those freaking commercials.  Feminine products hate those commercials also.  Hell we know you use them I don't care to know how absorbent.....  

Can we talk about bathroom tissue?  Ridicules!

Rant off!

How's that for jumping in?
puc reducks

Delightful, Coebul!  Very Happy

But this isn't really a rant place.  I figure you all must get your rants off on the political threads.

Did I sould harsh?   Shocked  Well, I admint that eternity in dogshit thing was a wee bit rant-ish...

OK.  Here is a gripe based on one of your rants:  toilet paper.

NOW, apparently, it is not OK to have a roll of TP "at the ready," like waiting on top of the toilet tank to be put on the spindle.  Nope.  Cannot put a "naked" roll of TP anyplace but the spindle.

It is an uncouth act, I am assured by people touting a TOILET PAPER COVER!!!

Know what?  You can bet at least ONE of them will match your decor!
auntmartymoo

Great thread!

I'd be more inclined to use it at the end of the week.

But then again, when the alarm clock sounds on Monday, I feel a little....


scrutney

puc reducks wrote:
OK.  Here is a gripe based on one of your rants:  toilet paper.

NOW, apparently, it is not OK to have a roll of TP "at the ready," like waiting on top of the toilet tank to be put on the spindle.  Nope.  Cannot put a "naked" roll of TP anyplace but the spindle.    



oh my god...toilet paper etiquette?
i have literally seen fights (thankfully verbal) break out at parties and family reunions about whether the leading sheet should be over or under.

who cares?
and now we're worried about whether a naked roll of posterior polisher should be allowed to top the tank in better homes?

arrrrrrgh.
all i can say is; with two women in my house, when nature calls there had damn well better be enough paper in milady's powder room or i'll get a service call, in the queen's english, after the royal wee.

and by the way...on a side note, i have banned, outright forbidden charmin bathroom tissue in my house...i am sick unto death of cuddly bears who "enjoy the go" and will not support that dumb ass advertising campaign with my money.

enjoy the go?...mr whipple can kiss my fat, flatulent, fundament.

puc reducks

Oh, not just "better homes," but ALL homes "need" to have TP covers!!!

On that Charmin thing...  It does lead to a gripe...

How can those bears "enjoy the go" when they ain't got no orifices "down there"???   Shocked

We can talk armpit stink, absorbencies of different types, limp dicks... but CARTOON BEARS CAN'T HAVE BUTT HOLES???

Thank you, Madison Avenue, for saving me.
auntmartymoo

Apparently...I have taken uncouth-ness to new heights.

I have a "naked" roll of TP sitting on my desk.

In my defense...there are never any kleenex in the supply closet here at work.

Quick, somebody crochet me one of those hideous TP cover-uppers...
a holiday one, with a snowman, please.

(I believe that everyone has an elderly relative who makes these sorts of horrible crafty things.  I do.  And she makes them to cover kleenex boxes, booze bottles and hairspray cans, too!)

Nevermind, now I want one that looks like a cupcake:



Not the fancy hat:



Or the poodle:

coebul

TP covers.  Bull shit or whatever.  

With in 2 weeks of moving into this dump we broke the holder.  Now the roll resides on the window sill and has for 20 years..

Like Scrutney I am sick of the can we talk ladies?  "It's time to have a talk about Toilet Paper"!  Who cares!  Beats the crap out of the alternative.  

And another thing Seat up or down?  You want it down put it down.  I like it up!
bieramar

People - who at public events I've chosen to attend solely because I want to listen to the music/talk and enjoy the ambience from the stage/podium/audience - who sit beside me and try to talk to and distract me.

=====­­­­­=====­­­­­=====

As to toilet seats and toilet tissue covers --- ahhhhhh, the beauty of bachelorhood.
puc reducks

auntmartymoo wrote:
Apparently...I have taken uncouth-ness to new heights.

I have a "naked" roll of TP sitting on my desk.

In my defense...there are never any kleenex in the supply closet here at work.

Quick, somebody crochet me one of those hideous TP cover-uppers...
a holiday one, with a snowman, please.

(I believe that everyone has an elderly relative who makes these sorts of horrible crafty things.  I do.  And she makes them to cover kleenex boxes, booze bottles and hairspray cans, too!)

Nevermind, now I want one that looks like a cupcake:



Not the fancy hat:



Or the poodle:



Sign me up for a cupcake TP cover, you unspeakably uncouth woman!!!

Definitely not the fancy hat.

That poodle looks like it has had its neck stretch the old-fashioned way:  a noose.

Meanwhile, borrowing a phrase from Scrutney--"toilet paper etiquette"--you, Dear AMM, are exactly the target for this new product!!!  LMAO!!!  Now, what you could do is:  Separate the roll into multiple  two joined pieces of TP and stack one upon the other.  That way they will appear to be tissues!  See???  Problem solved!   Razz
puc reducks

coebul wrote:
TP covers.  Bull shit or whatever.  

With in 2 weeks of moving into this dump we broke the holder.  Now the roll resides on the window sill and has for 20 years..

Like Scrutney I am sick of the can we talk ladies?  "It's time to have a talk about Toilet Paper"!  Who cares!  Beats the crap out of the alternative.  

And another thing Seat up or down?  You want it down put it down.  I like it up!


The BEST "Can we talk, ladies?" ads are Tina Fey's parodies on SNL!  OMG!  You'll wet your Mom Jeans and need a super-absorbency pad!!!

You used it last?  Put the GD seat DOWN.  Sheesh.
coebul

puc reducks wrote:
coebul wrote:
TP covers.  Bull shit or whatever.  

With in 2 weeks of moving into this dump we broke the holder.  Now the roll resides on the window sill and has for 20 years..

Like Scrutney I am sick of the can we talk ladies?  "It's time to have a talk about Toilet Paper"!  Who cares!  Beats the crap out of the alternative.  

And another thing Seat up or down?  You want it down put it down.  I like it up!


The BEST "Can we talk, ladies?" ads are Tina Fey's parodies on SNL!  OMG!  You'll wet your Mom Jeans and need a super-absorbency pad!!!

You used it last?  Put the GD seat DOWN.  Sheesh.
Then you can reciprocate and leave it up!  Fair is fair!

Tina Fey?? Link?
auntmartymoo

Another SNL goodie...

"Oops, I Crapped My Pants"  adult diapers.
coebul

LINK?
auntmartymoo

I don't much care whether my husband leaves the seat up or down...
so long as the seat remains clean and dry at all times.
auntmartymoo

http://www.hulu.com/watch/10308/s...ight-live-oops-i-crapped-my-pants
coebul

auntmartymoo wrote:
I don't much care whether my husband leaves the seat up or down...
so long as the seat remains clean and dry at all times.
Now that is a rational position.  My wife use to be a put the seat down lady so I had to do a little training.  Leaving the seat down at all times.  Didn't take long for a meeting of the mind on this issue.  

Never underestimate the power of early training and proper training...... Wink
puc reducks

Another from Tina Fey... Annuale.  (Priceline ad precedes.)

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/annuale/221774
puc reducks

coebul wrote:
auntmartymoo wrote:
I don't much care whether my husband leaves the seat up or down...
so long as the seat remains clean and dry at all times.
Now that is a rational position.  My wife use to be a put the seat down lady so I had to do a little training.  Leaving the seat down at all times.  Didn't take long for a meeting of the mind on this issue.  

Never underestimate the power of early training and proper training...... Wink



Just as long as it's down somehow in the middle of the night, when it's dark.  You will understand this as you get older...   Razz  Wink
scrutney

puc reducks wrote:

Just as long as it's down somehow in the middle of the night, when it's dark.  You will understand this as you get older...   Razz  Wink


it's all about personal responsibility*...if i had the urge to purge, in the middle of the night...i'm pretty sure i'd check whether the seat was up or down...but i most certainly wouldn't curse the previous occupant, if i got an assfull of cold porcelain.














*it's an est thing...but that's a gripe/rant for another time.
puc reducks

Clearly, Scrutney, you haven't lost part of your mind yet.

You just wait, you whipper-snapper, until some of those synapses fail to fire and you forget to check whether the seat is up or down.  OR, worse, you did check--and forgot!!!   Laughing

est.  Haven't thought of that in a-g-e-s.  Who was that guy in California?
scrutney

puc reducks wrote:

est.  Haven't thought of that in a-g-e-s.  Who was that guy in California?


i think his name was erhardt.

true story:

my ex wife joined the fold and took the training back in 82 and it cost me a whopping $800.

the upshot of said training was being put in a hotel banquet room with 50 or 60 other seekers of knowledge and being coached/drilled/socialized into believing that everything that ever happened to you in your f**ked up, miserable life was your fault...and yours alone (because you were the one to put yourself in that position in the first palce.) and that you were an a**hole. "say it with me a**hole."

when one of the poor slobs put up his hand and asked politely to go to the rest room, he was told; "no, a**hole. you are responsible for your bodily functions and you should have thought about this before you entered this seminar."

no kidding, the seminar leader wouldn't let you go to the bathroom.

that was day one..
but i heard that they supplied a lovely lunch with lots of iced tea.

day two was more of the same...lots of shouting, finger ponting, wailing, gnashing of teeth and copious accusations of assholery (and bladders, strained bladders.)

my ex arrived home from the first half of her training a shell of her former self. the barriers had been broken.

day three.
the thirty or so poor souls who showed up for the second half were told they were on the fast track to enlightenment...that they were well on the way to "getting it."
what "it" was, was never explained to me but hey, i didn't take the seminar...whatever it was, my ex got "it" on day three and day four was spent reenforcing "it."

she arrived home on sunday, full of the fervor of the newly recruited.(full of something, anyway).

"honey," i asked," what say you and i go over to shelley's and smoke a joint?"

"sounds good."

"have you seen my sneakers?" i asked.

"you are responsible for your sneakers."

alarm bells were going off in my head. danger, danger will robinson.

at shelly's house i (and several of our friends) were informed that i responsible for trimming my cheesey tom selleck moustache, for the scratches in my pink floyd album, the reagan presidency, worldwide famine, the mid east crisis and the general suckiness of our financial situation.

the last one pissed me off.

so i replied to her:
"honey, i just spent $800 dollars so that they could lock you in a room for four days and tell you that "you're an asshole.
that's $800 we could have saved, cause i've known it for years."

unfazed, she replied: "it's my reponsibility to know that i'm an asshole."

"and my responsibility to pay for it?" i mumbled.

but i was beaten...you can't argue with idiocy of that quality.

the next day i did however, load the refrigerator with a pitcher, marked fla-vor-aide.

she drank a lot of it over the remaing months of our marriage.

but as for the joke?

i don't think she got "it".

coebul

puc reducks wrote:



Just as long as it's down somehow in the middle of the night, when it's dark.  You will understand this as you get older...   Razz  Wink
Hmmmm how old?  At what age does seat position become critical to the elderly?  

What's the problem here?  Porcelain a little chilly at 3 am?  Deal with it!  

============

EST!  I remember that period in your life.  I remember when she said something about we girls with an hour glass figure bla bla bla....  I responded with something about the Crisco Kid!  Fat in the can!!!  I never did get over her marrying you.  Until face book that is...  LMAO.  Damn I am glad she married you.....  

Now it is along the lines of Shirley McClean and Dee Wallace.  Ouuuuh weeee Ouuuuh!   A meteor slams into the earth and you are the master of your destiny because when you chose this existence you knew then it would end with a world killing meteor.  

Yawn.  I went to one meeting and watched Dee Wallace spew her psycho bable.  They had to wake me because I was snoring to loud.  

EST, psycho bable and the rest of that bull shit is right up there with an unemployed person with a degree in Transgender gay and lesbian Hispanic studies.   Worthless.  A waste of space...
scrutney

the path to true enlightenment is lined with the bodies of those that no one went broke from underestimating.
puc reducks

Scrutney,
That is some account of est.  That stuff about "you gave yourself" every ill that you suffer (dis-ease [remember that?], failing finances, broken marriages, bad children, bad gums, the entire litany) was something I always considered poppycock, even when Oprah was advancing the idea.

Coebul is correct about it leaking into other, later movements... New Age-y, Shirley MacLaine (but she CAN spin one heckuvan alien theory) and on and on.

I've never been a joiner. Got tossed out of the Brownies, never "flew up" to the Girl Scouts. That has put me in good stead all my life.  I'm pretty sure, anyhow. The closest I ever came was considering home study classes w/the group that follows the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda.  I decided to read his books myself and then joined their online prayer circle.  He is still my Guru.

Anyhow, that est stuff seemed to be right on the tail of Timothy Leary's "tune in, turn on, drop out" in that it was radical and counterculture.  Otherwise no similarities.  I mean, using acid "know your true self"?  LOL.  Now, peyote on the other hand...

Thanks for the visit to an est seminar.  Sorry it ended up a bad chapter.
puc reducks

coebul wrote:
puc reducks wrote:



Just as long as it's down somehow in the middle of the night, when it's dark.  You will understand this as you get older...   Razz  Wink
Hmmmm how old?  At what age does seat position become critical to the elderly?  

What's the problem here?  Porcelain a little chilly at 3 am?  Deal with it!  


Coe,
Tell me how old you are and I'll tell you about how much time you have left before pre-dementia sets in.  You won't remember that I told you when it all happens, so what's the point?  Just know that it creeps up, like a Marsh Creek cat burglar, and before you know it--KABOOM!--YOU are elderly and the seat position issue has become critical.  As I said, you could try to remember by leaving yourself a Post-It Note, but let's face it: YOU'LL FORGET ALL ABOUT IT IN THE TWILIGHT OF YOUR YEARS.  It's a good thing in some ways.

Deal with it, you say??!

NO.  YOU deal with it.  I'm Dame Edna, possum, and I needn't deal with a single bloody thing I don't wish to deal with.  Laughing
puc reducks

Oh, yes, I do have a gripe today.

It grieves me no end when certain people (and you know who you are) use the "Don't touch my Junk Drawer" for POLITICS.

Use some of that brain power to figure out where your posts actually belong and bloody post them there.

Really, it is beyond annoying.  It is gripesome.

Do stop it.

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