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tsiya



Joined: 18 Nov 2010
Posts: 4017
Location: Cabbage Hammock

PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 3:45 am    Post subject:  Reply with quote

RADIO CALLER SAYS DEER CROSSING SIGNS ‘ENCOURAGING DEER TO CROSS’ ARE CAUSING HER FREQUENT COLLISIONS WITH THE ANIMAL — YES, REALLY

Calling into the Y94 Morning Playhouse radio show, Fargo-area resident “Donna” aired her frustrations about a number of deer-related car accidents she has been involved in recently – three to be exact.

Donna believes the North Dakota and Minnesota Departments of Transportation are responsible for the problem, however, she told the radio hosts that she has written local news outlets about her grievance and they refuse to take her seriously. It’s extremely frustrating to Donna as she believes she has crafted a very simple and effective solution to her problem.

Well, let’s allow her to explain in her own words:

“My frustration is that, Minnesota and North Dakota Departments of Transportation would allow these deer crossing in such high traffic areas. I mean, I’ve even seen them on the interstate,” Donna began.

“Why are we encouraging deer to cross at the interstate? I don’t get it,” Donna said to two stunned radio hosts.

We don’t get it either.

But it get’s worse. As she goes on, one has to wonder — Can this lady possibly be serious?

“I mean, I understand that deers are animals and they need to travel across the streets occasionally to survive and of course to find food but it seems to me… so irresponsible of us to allow these deer crossings to be in areas where these deer are so likely to be struck by oncoming traffic. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Um…” one of the speechless hosts says, followed by a long awkward pause. “You know, deer crossings aren‘t telling deer that it’s safe to cross there, it‘s just more of an alert for drivers so that they know it’s a high deer population.”



Even after this, “Donna the deer lady” still doesn’t understand. So they try again.

“You seem to be under the misunderstanding that the deer are somehow attracted to the deer crossing signs,” another radio host explained.

“Well, yeah, the deer crossing sign is there to allow the deer to know that’s where they need to cross,” Donna said.

“Right,” he replied sarcastically.

The solution, Donna explained, is to move the deer crossing signs to “lower traffic areas” with slower speed limits.

After they realized Donna the deer lady was a lost cause on this issue, they promised to help her spread the word and raise awareness about the pervasive societal problem.

They certainly kept their promise to spread the word — the clip has since gone, as Gawker puts it, “ultra-viral.”

http://youtu.be/CI8UPHMzZm8

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/r...sions-with-the-animal-yes-really/
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Bob

"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule."
H. L. Mencken
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tsiya



Joined: 18 Nov 2010
Posts: 4017
Location: Cabbage Hammock

PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SEX IN THE SHOWER

In a recent survey commissioned by President Obama, his supporters have proven to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower.

The survey was carried out for Democrats by a leading soap and toiletries firm.

The results revealed that 86% of Obama supporters said that they have had sex in the shower.

The remaining 14% said they haven't been to prison yet.

Sort of brings tears to your eyes...
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Bob

"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule."
H. L. Mencken
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tsiya



Joined: 18 Nov 2010
Posts: 4017
Location: Cabbage Hammock

PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Undefeated - The Toughest Bridge in the World

http://www.prochan.com/view?p=da1_1351183858

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Bob

"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule."
H. L. Mencken
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bieramar



Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Posts: 4441
Location: Taylor Ranch, NM

PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2012 5:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In response to the various secessionist petitions flying around, some of us "lefties" have decided to join.

Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.      

We intend to form our own country and we're taking the Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A) which we are creating.

To sum up briefly:

We get the Statue of Liberty.
You get Opry Land.

We get Intel and Microsoft.
You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard.
You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue.
You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.
You get a bunch of single moms. 

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale,Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100%of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. 

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties.

We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,
Citizen of the Enlightened States of America
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bieramar



Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Posts: 4441
Location: Taylor Ranch, NM

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 3:55 pm    Post subject: TRUE FRIENDSHIP Reply with quote

When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

When you are scared ~ I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.

When you are worried ~ I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.

When you are sick ~ Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you up.

This is my oath ..... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask ~ because you are my friend.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

(Caveat; if you decide to send this to 10 of your closest friends, you might get depressed if you can only think of 4.)
 
 
 
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bieramar



Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Posts: 4441
Location: Taylor Ranch, NM

PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 3:01 pm    Post subject: Inflation? Reply with quote

A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each.

    Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time, and as he passed the pretzel stand, he would leave her a quarter, but never take a pretzel.

    And this went on for more then 3 years. The two of them never spoke.

    One day, as the young man passed the old lady's stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel lady spoke to him.

    "Sir, thank you for your business. You are a good customer, but I have to tell you that the pretzel price has gone up to 35 cents."
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coebul



Joined: 18 Nov 2010
Posts: 3285
Location: Northwest USA

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2013 5:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpgL5kuBpMA&feature=share
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coebul



Joined: 18 Nov 2010
Posts: 3285
Location: Northwest USA

PostPosted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 3:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day. As they walk, they come across a sign:
"Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I am entering," said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"
" First Place," said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign: "Contest for the strongest man in the world."

"I'm entering," says Superman.
After half an hour he returns and they ask him, "How did you make out?"
" First Place," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt?"

They continue walking when they see a sign: "Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"

Pinocchio says, "This is mine."
Half an hour later, he returns with tears in his eyes.
"What happened?" they asked.

"Who the heck is Obama?!?!" he asked.
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"The American Republic will endure, until politicians realize they can bribe the people with their own money." -- Alexis de Tocqueville
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tsiya



Joined: 18 Nov 2010
Posts: 4017
Location: Cabbage Hammock

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


_________________
Bob

"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule."
H. L. Mencken
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tsiya



Joined: 18 Nov 2010
Posts: 4017
Location: Cabbage Hammock

PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Feds Spare No Expense to Close Popular Tourist Sites
http://azconservative.org/2013/10...e-to-close-popular-tourist-sites/


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Bob

"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule."
H. L. Mencken
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