bumrejects.myfreeforum.org Forum Index bumrejects.myfreeforum.org
Open discussion on just about any topic
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   Join! (free) Join! (free)
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Daily Funnies
Page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 16, 17, 18
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    bumrejects.myfreeforum.org Forum Index -> Don't touch my Junk Drawer
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Please Register and Login to this forum to stop seeing this advertising.






Posted:     Post subject:

Back to top
auntmartymoo



Joined: 22 Nov 2010
Posts: 1300

PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 1:43 pm    Post subject:  Reply with quote

"As of now we still don’t know whether Congress is going to vote to shut down the government. However, it looks like they still might burn it down for the insurance money." –Arsenio Hall


"This whole government shutdown thing comes down to who will blink first. Well, we know it won't be Nancy Pelosi. We know that for sure because she hasn't blinked since the last shutdown." –Jay Leno


"Our government may be shutting down in a few hours. So, folks, get ready for absolutely no noticeable difference." –Conan O'Brien


"Almost a million non-essential government employees were let go. Well, isn't that the problem, that there's that many non-essential employees?" –David Letterman


"After Congress failed to reach an agreement on a new spending bill, the federal government officially shut down. So roads won't get fixed, public employees won't be able to help you, and getting a federal loan for a house will be very difficult – but there will also be a lot of differences." –Jimmy Fallon


"The shutdown means the national zoo is closed. Who'll feed the animals? Is anyone even there to lock them up at night? Pretty soon starving lions and tigers could charge out of the zoo. They'd devour the fattest, dumbest people on Capitol Hill. Actually that might be the answer to all of the problems." –Craig Ferguson


"Since 1976 there have been 17 government shutdowns. The longest was during the four years that Jimmy Carter was president." –Jay Leno


"Even the NSA is out of business. And while they're closed, while the government is shut down, they are asking citizens to please spy on each other." –David Letterman


"If the government does shut down, nonessential White House employees will be sent home without pay – so more bad news for Joe Biden." –Jay Leno


"At least here in America, crucial agencies like the U.S. Border Patrol are still on the job. That's a good thing. The last thing we need is an influx of Canadians, with their politeness and a government that's open every day." –Craig Ferguson


"Midnight tonight is the deadline for Congress to pass their budget for the year. And if they don’t, things shut down – which is bad because we need to keep the government working so they can continue to not do things on our behalf." –Jimmy Kimmel


"How many are worried about a government shutdown? How many are more worried about it starting back up?" –Jay Leno
_________________
wall street is just a symptom of the disease...washington dc is the petri dish that incubated this pandemic  ~ scrutney
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
auntmartymoo



Joined: 22 Nov 2010
Posts: 1300

PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 5:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was kind of surprised that Jay Leno had some of the funniest shutdown jokes.
_________________
wall street is just a symptom of the disease...washington dc is the petri dish that incubated this pandemic  ~ scrutney
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
bieramar



Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Posts: 4441
Location: Taylor Ranch, NM

PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 1:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hired a new writer? (Leno, that is).
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
scrutney
Site Admin


Joined: 18 Nov 2010
Posts: 1535

PostPosted: Mon Nov 25, 2013 1:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote




_________________
one man's terrorist is another man's folk hero
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    bumrejects.myfreeforum.org Forum Index -> Don't touch my Junk Drawer All times are GMT
Page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 16, 17, 18
Page 18 of 18

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Card File  Gallery  Forum Archive
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
Create your own free forum | Buy a domain to use with your forum